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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his grandiose moments often turn “highly unrealistic”, he explains. “You are on cloud nine and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often coming after a “sudden low”, during which he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his conduct, making him highly sensitive to criticism from others. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. But, he doubts he would have taken the label without having independently formed that realization on his own. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people conceal it, due to so much stigma associated with the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in Narcissism

While three-quarters of people diagnosed with NPD are males, studies suggests this statistic does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that women with NPD is frequently manifests in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

I find it difficult with handling criticism and rejection,” she shares, since when I’m told that the issue lies with me, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this response – which is sometimes referred to as “narcissistic injury”, she has been working to manage it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples during development. “I’ve been learning over the years what is and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me growing up,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “connected with that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions via government-funded care (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for an extended period: It was indicated it is expected around in a few months.”

He has shared with a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number