Ex- English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-degenerating condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the condition.
"There's a certain facing the future and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the present time," he said.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his immediate health, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters differently, and once I have the details, it's more manageable," he continued.
Early Signs
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the problem, a set of scans showed nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly quite emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I think nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't feel ill. I don't feel sick
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand and the shoulder.
"I continue to be competent to performing whatever I want. And with luck that will persist for as long as is possible."
Disease Development
MND can develop quickly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a 33% of people within a year and over half within 730 days of diagnosis, as eating and breathing become more difficult.
Medical care can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," added an moved Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Family Impact
Talking from the residence with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overcome with emotion when he mentioned telling his sons - teenage Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two brilliant boys and that was quite devastating," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the tears off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody explained the emphasis was being in the present.
"We have no cure and that is why you have to be so strongly concentrated on just accepting and appreciating everything now," he stated.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly fortunate that the only real choice I made when I left playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Sportsman Association
Elite competitors are excessively influenced by MND, with investigations indicating the incidence of the illness is up to 600% elevated than in the wider community.
It is thought that by limiting the oxygen accessible and causing damage to nerve cells, regular, intense physical activity can trigger the disease in those previously genetically susceptible.
Rugby Career
Moody, who gained 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his fearless, relentless style to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a workout confrontation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a practice gear and commenced participating in collisions.
After coming on as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive moment of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the victory-securing drop-goal.
Backing Network
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a few other ex- colleagues about his diagnosis, but the others will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There shall be a period when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that type of love and acknowledgment that people are present is the crucial thing," he said.
"This game is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it ended now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to consider your passion your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so extended a duration with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will desire to support in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those conversations."
